I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
