I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize