You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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