Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
