I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
