hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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