she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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