he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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