Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize