the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
