well I can't set my house on fire every night
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize