FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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