lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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