wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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