you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
