I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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