Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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