Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
