don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
