My room smells like vodka and shame
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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