Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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