I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
