found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
