The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
