when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
