Sry I called you an 8
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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