My friends, they love my intelligence
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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