I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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