so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
