I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
