dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
