there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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