I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We had to coat check the pizza.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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