I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
