Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
