3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
