please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
