so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
