Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
