Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
