the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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