Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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