all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
