I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
