My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
