There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
