she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
