"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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