you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
