I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
