some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize