Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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