Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
