Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
