But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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