I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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