ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
