Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
